The first point, was struggling to speak in meetings.
Either fearing to speak because I doubted what I’d say would be correct.
Or, preparing in my head the sentence I needed to say.
Which led to not really listening to parts of the meeting.
I’d try to memorise what I would say, then whenever I did speak, I might stutter.
Which lead me to be completely mute, and not make an impression, or participate in the meeting and bond with clients.
Another point, I wasn't really engaged in the chit chat at the beginning of meetings.
I wasn’t able to have this light, easy talk, and not managing to create a bond with clients or others.
We were never going beyond a formal professional level to a more personal level.
This was mainly driven by the formality I associate with this kind of environment.
So to me, professionalism was a synonym of being cold and very formal.
I wasn't allowing myself to laugh, or go to a bit more of a personal level, such as asking, what was the last trip you went on? Are you planning any trips?
The next point, I was always being apologetic in the meeting.
There was no sentence that I wasn't starting with - ’Sorry to interrupt, sorry for raising this question . . .’, and that was putting me in a subordinate position.
Another point was presentations.
It wasn't a struggle to deliver the presentation, it was the way I was presenting.
I was pretty much memorising it, then delivering it.
Like I was delivering my homework.
I had a presentation of 10 slides. I was learning the 10 slides. I was repeating the 10 slides without looking at the screen, and that was it.
It resulted in being a bit boring, and robotic.
I wasn’t getting the engagement from the audience I wanted to achieve.
Instead, I wanted to make it more interactive and more engaging.
To make pauses and pose the right question at the right moment, to create more rhythm in the presentation.
The seniors at work had noticed these points.
I was told I needed to be more present and engaging during meetings.
So, this was the first alarm bell.
The realisation that my worries were not just in my head, but actually real, because someone else has also noticed these things.
The additional problem was then not knowing how to solve these issues.
You don't even know where to start, and this adds another layer of anxiety on top.
You also start fearing your career growth.
I felt as a professional, I should have already achieved this level in my communication.
So this was the reason to work with Matt.
My only hesitation was, as a very structured person, I’d struggle a bit without a specified plan.
I was maybe expecting Matt to describe the programme he’s designed as,
Lesson one, you do this, you achieve this…
Lesson two, you do this, you achieve this…
But now I understand, coaching isn’t structured like this.
Because coaching is pretty much a discovery, a journey shaped to you.
I get that’s the difference between coaching and training which is one size fits all.
So I didn't know exactly how I would achieve results, that was the only bit of doubt.
But when I started, and saw results, it felt very empowering.
I looked at a few options, then discovered Matt’s website.
There was no hesitation working with him, the hesitation was more on the others, because I felt they were less real, I didn't know the results they offered.
On Matt’s website I felt empowered and secure by the other people and their experience.
The Case Studies where they shared their journey, that pretty much resembled the journey I needed to have.
I could recognise myself in their words, that helped me define exactly what my struggles were.
Reading the experiences of people helped me understand and identify what the problems were in my communication.
I definitely unlocked how to establish a connection with people.
Whenever I enter meetings, I have small talk to create a personal connection, and ask questions to everyone in a very easy way.
I don't fear going into high level meetings anymore.
I achieved being more vocal in meetings, and I don't worry about asking questions.
There is no stupid question, and I dedicate the hour to what we are discussing.
So I go in with the mindset, of it will be something that will help me.
And let's see what I can learn from this meeting.
Now, whenever I deliver a presentation, I have techniques to engage more with people.
The conversation goes smoother rather than just delivering a speech.
These were the biggest achievements.
The benefit at work, is I’m more trusted by colleagues and clients.
And being more trusted creates stronger working relationships.
Especially in my job, because it’s based on clients trusting me, that creates opportunities.
That's the first step in the chain.
From tiny actions, the chain reaction is even bigger.
It spreads into various other aspects of the work.
I’m growing as a professional, and gaining recognition, because people see I’m delivering more.
I’m on the right pathway to become the professional I really want to become.
Outside work I don't have any problem chatting with people I don't know.
Now, I’m bringing more of how I am outside work into the work environment.
Before there was a division, I was putting on a mask at work, like being a different person.
It’s about bringing that side of my character into work as well.
It feels more natural, more human, there is not that division anymore.
Which makes me enjoy being with clients because they're not just a client, but they're a person.
All I have achieved feels very good, I have the right tools to continue, and it's not going to be a big effort.
Matt and I worked together to understand and shape the correct tools to work in my specific case.
The benefit is obviously finding a solution which was tailor-made for me.
Because, if instead there was a predefined solution, maybe this was not as effective for me.
It would not have helped me to really shake the grounds of the behaviour itself.
I would say, it’s not a science.
It's not like, you go to the doctor, take this medicine, and you solve it.
It's very much a discovery, and then action.
But I think the real value starts when you decide to dedicate one and a half hours per week to a problem you want to solve.
Acknowledging and doing this is the first step.
When you dedicate time to solve something, only good can come out of it.
And, working with Matt, you have someone to talk through the problem, pose the right questions and find a solution that suits you.
Unlike training where you’re told what to do, and given a generic boilerplate solution that might not work for you.
If a person had the same problem as me, I don't think they would arrive at the same conclusion and use the same tool.
It’s only through coaching you're given the instrument that works for your specific case.
It’s unique for each client, not a one size fits all.
This is the real value add I discovered working with Matt.
I’ve got a few in mind I really want to highlight.
So one best part is what comes after each session.
You feel, ‘Okay, I have this, let me put it into practice!’
So you go and change your behaviour, and see the results.
Even a couple of hours later you have the feeling you succeeded.
That you really can now solve the problem.
When you see actual results, it feels very empowering.
Seeing your achievement is the best part.
A big worry is you’ll never overcome the problem, but when you do, you realise it’s not as big as you thought.
Then it’s just a case of repeat and practice.
Working with Matt was always smooth.
He puts you very much at ease and comfortable.
So you feel no struggle, it’s actually a very supportive and positive experience.
It’s like when you find a travel friend on a journey.
At the start, you think it will be a solo journey, but then, when you are in the middle of this unknown territory, you meet another solo traveler in the hostel.
Next day you take a couple of steps of the journey together.
You get along with each other, and while travelling together, it's a positive experience.
You get more from traveling with someone.
This is my metaphor, let's say.
Definitely, working with Matt was a good experience, a discovery experience.
You have support when you need support, and continue on your own when you’re ready.
An adventure, pretty much.
Yes, lots.
Firstly it surprised me it was not that difficult to overcome my challenges.
And surprised to discover not everything were new things I needed to learn.
Often it was already something I had as a quality.
I just needed to unlock it for specific moments, situations.
Another surprise was, I can be really good at my job.
Definitely, surprised that by using different skills, I overcame what I thought was a big problem.
It's about mindset.
Sometimes your beliefs might be wrong.
The belief you should be very formal to achieve success. Instead it was completely the opposite.
Not being formal and being able to joke a bit more and more personable to build trust.
So, like a 180° turn on your beliefs.
Definitely.
Decide to invest in yourself because it will return to you.
A small gesture with massive impact on your problem.
In a blink of an eye, you will find yourself overcoming what you thought was a big struggle.
With the right tools and the right time dedicated to it, it's easy to overcome.
There is no chance you would not get along with Matt, because he’s professional and expert at his job.
I’m sure he would know the right approach depending on the person.
If you’re uncertain, I would say have a first call, and see if you get along with each other.
That's what I did.
I remember Matt saying that it was mutual, as in he doesn't accept all the clients. Only those who are right for his programme.
So, it's a very easy 30-minute call that might result in a yes or a no.
I say, just embrace it.
A huge thank you Matt, because in the four months we got together, there wasn't a real moment to share my appreciation.
For yourself and for the work you do and carried out with me.
